Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Can Donald Trump use the Alien Friends Act of 1798 to give ALL illegal immigrants an ultimatum: You have 1 month to leave America, after which you will be arrested and jailed for 3 years?

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

☆ what's the thing that made u fell in love with your bias?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are some life hacks for living on your own?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why is my ping so high in 1 Roblox game but not the other ones? I am also not laggy in my own private server. What is happening?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What can I do to deal with disrespectful children?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Can you write a poem or short story based on the first image that shows up on Pinterest?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the opposite personality type of someone with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder)?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade